Well, that was a long week
Okay so that was an extra long week of trying to be a bit more kind to others.
I think I was more mindful about how I was behaving but not necessarily "nicer" per say. Well, I did my best.
The past two weeks have been filled with holiday shopping galore, preparing for a big move in the end of December and lots and lots of family. Hence I have not posted for awhile. My dad gave me the little nudge, so, here I am.
I have to admit I miss the days of postmodern blogging. For whatever reason I need a stronger blog theme but it is just not coming to me. Oddest thing about that is I used to be able to write very well:
Ok, little known fact, I kind of was a writer. Meaning: I identified myself as a writer...Okay, more as an artist. But as a youth, the one asset, skill or talent I seemed to possess was writing. I optimistically sent poetry in to journals, zines and magazines for publishing, I impressed my high school English teachers, my childhood journals still fill molded over boxes to this day. I have short stories, term papers, screenplays...finished and unfinished, all sitting in notebooks or in obscurely labeled computer files.
The sad part is, I have lost it. The grammar, the metrical structure, the fluid way of inserting metaphors at the right moment. Even my prose blows. Theis particular talent just melted away. Seemingly more important things have taken up space in that part of my brain.
Another little known fact, I come from a family of writers. Trust me, I know it is hard to tell based on my blogging, but really I do. Both sides. Successful, published, poets, New York Times and multiple-novel kind of writers are all out there with the same blood as I.
And here I am: the sudo-film maker, sudo-installation artist, sudo-creative minded yuppie kid. I mean my nails are polished and I joined the fantasy fashion league for Gawd's sake.
I understand that is ok to be lost. Being unclear about what to do for creative projects and spending a few years, quite a few, with out a pen in hand is all part of the creative process..But what if it sticks? What if I never return to it?
In film making there is this period in the process of creating a film idea that cheesy film people (and other artists) call incubation. It is self-explanatory really, but it is important. It is when you sort of have an idea of what you want the story, the look, the feel of the film to be but then you need a few weeks to just observe the world, go to museums, watch movies, drink tea, meditate..let the idea incubate.
I have been incubating since December at this time last year, when I finally made it out of undergrad with my BA. I am ready to manifest something, anything. Whether I start writing again or not. All in all I am getting antsy creative wise. It is almost a family legacy in a sense. Just like athletics, or military service. Maybe I'll come back from the Peace Corps with a novel in hand, or at least an idea for one.
Okay, rant over.
My goal for week 5? Meditation on a big idea. More incubation.
I think I was more mindful about how I was behaving but not necessarily "nicer" per say. Well, I did my best.
The past two weeks have been filled with holiday shopping galore, preparing for a big move in the end of December and lots and lots of family. Hence I have not posted for awhile. My dad gave me the little nudge, so, here I am.
I have to admit I miss the days of postmodern blogging. For whatever reason I need a stronger blog theme but it is just not coming to me. Oddest thing about that is I used to be able to write very well:
Ok, little known fact, I kind of was a writer. Meaning: I identified myself as a writer...Okay, more as an artist. But as a youth, the one asset, skill or talent I seemed to possess was writing. I optimistically sent poetry in to journals, zines and magazines for publishing, I impressed my high school English teachers, my childhood journals still fill molded over boxes to this day. I have short stories, term papers, screenplays...finished and unfinished, all sitting in notebooks or in obscurely labeled computer files.
The sad part is, I have lost it. The grammar, the metrical structure, the fluid way of inserting metaphors at the right moment. Even my prose blows. Theis particular talent just melted away. Seemingly more important things have taken up space in that part of my brain.
Another little known fact, I come from a family of writers. Trust me, I know it is hard to tell based on my blogging, but really I do. Both sides. Successful, published, poets, New York Times and multiple-novel kind of writers are all out there with the same blood as I.
And here I am: the sudo-film maker, sudo-installation artist, sudo-creative minded yuppie kid. I mean my nails are polished and I joined the fantasy fashion league for Gawd's sake.
I understand that is ok to be lost. Being unclear about what to do for creative projects and spending a few years, quite a few, with out a pen in hand is all part of the creative process..But what if it sticks? What if I never return to it?
In film making there is this period in the process of creating a film idea that cheesy film people (and other artists) call incubation. It is self-explanatory really, but it is important. It is when you sort of have an idea of what you want the story, the look, the feel of the film to be but then you need a few weeks to just observe the world, go to museums, watch movies, drink tea, meditate..let the idea incubate.
I have been incubating since December at this time last year, when I finally made it out of undergrad with my BA. I am ready to manifest something, anything. Whether I start writing again or not. All in all I am getting antsy creative wise. It is almost a family legacy in a sense. Just like athletics, or military service. Maybe I'll come back from the Peace Corps with a novel in hand, or at least an idea for one.
Okay, rant over.
My goal for week 5? Meditation on a big idea. More incubation.
Well, it's nice to hear from you again. I kinda know where you are at. (kinda) I am there myself kinda. I come from a long line of military men and this is why I think I am staying ( well part of the reason). The other thing is I have worked in medicine for almost ten years and every person that finds out that I may become a cop thinks I am nuts. They think I am waisting my god givin talent for science. {but I can't spell) Anyway I am very lost at the moment is what I am trying to say. Hummm. Talk to you later.
Nick
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Friday, December 02, 2005